March 30, 2004 || Fck this life!

What a change of heart....I was soo happy this morning, then I went home and everything went down hill for me...I'm so fcken depressed it ain't funny.
I even drew a dotted line over my vein on my wrist and wrote "Cut along the dotted Line" with a picture of scissors.
My brother is a freaken FREAK and my mum is being intorable. She's driving me insane...so what did i do...came back to Uni and they're going to have to physically drag me away before i go home.
I was sooo happy that Carla got her P's...I told my dad and he laughed at me for being so stupid that I can't even fcken drive...that pissed me off straight away...then I mistakingly told my mum and she more or less told me I was a failure as a daughter and I have no brains coz I can't drive. No serious...she mumbles and I could hear her mumblings...she said "Carla is so smart to get her license...and I'm stuck with a daughter who needs to driven everywhere...she has no talent...Tito Lito is so lucky to have a daughter who has talent and is smart while I'm here with a daughter that can't even drive"
WHAT THE HELL?!?!
I love Carla I do...and I refuse to get jealous because I'm sooo happy for her and jealousy means I hate her and i don't...she needed her license more then I do. And so what if I can't fcken drive...Is my mother honestly going to refuse to take me to choir practice? Ok if I asked her to drive me to social events...THEN I'd understand but I only ask her to drive me to Church stuff...
I swear I want to run away...just so my mothers dreams of me finishing my studies will go kaput...but where the freak am I supposed to go...as if i'll go to any of my friends homes...their parents will drive me straight back home...and besides is not nearly far enough...I am an independent woman...I go to Uni...for my mother yes...but also for my own future...Im not stupid...I listen to what my mother has been telling me about the value of education...but I swear...in three years time Im so out of here...my mum even wants me out...I'll have a job anyways as a teacher and I can teach anywhere in the world but I don't think im about to give up my friends...or my family because i do love them but sometimes they drive me insane!!!!!
Ok I better go because I am at Uni to finish off an assignment. But I do find that writing out my stress helps me to control it and I can concentrate better!
Muah!

Posted by Kat at March 30, 2004 06:22 PM

Comments

Posted by: Morie at March 31, 2004 05:36 AM

awww katty mwah! beh I know... moms... my mom always mumbles! today I offered to help her out with cleaning, since I always only clean up just my own room and that's it, and she was like "well okay so help me out with this and that and that" and I was like "well I just said I'm gonna wash the floors mom!" and then she started yelling I don't help her out! after I washed the floors! BEH! ungreatful! she said I'm cold hearted, lol

Posted by: Kat at March 31, 2004 07:46 AM

Omigosh...my mum is exactley teh same...I see her washing dishes so I say that I can do it and then she ahs a go at me for saying..."well you should do it...you have no initiative to do it yourself...you have to wait for me to do it"

Man I wish mums were cool.

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