May 09, 2006 || Abandoned

Well my mum has finally followed in the footsteps of my dad and brother...she has abandoned me.
Ok well not really but for some reason my whole family has forgotten to pick me up and have left me stranded in the worst places...

The first one was my dad way back in 2000. I came back from a Study Day and he left me stranded at the station, with no money in my pocket at 9pm at night...I couldn't call him because he forgot to hang up the phone so all I got was a busy signal...

The next one was my brother. He left me at Uni at 9pm at night. I had to walk home with no money in my pocket, and buses had stopped running already and there were drunks around...well that led to the high point of my depression and Kari (as would a few others) knew where THAT pincale moment led to. I was hoping that wouldn't happen again...

But today...waiting outside of my school with really scary gang-ish guys walking around - I felt that sense of being stranded and abandoned again and it just took me to a place that I really didn't want to go to...but I couldn't help myself.

I haven't done ANYTHING and I won't...but that feeling is so strong to go back to my old ways...I have to admit I haven't kicked the habit completely just yet but I am more self satisfied so the urges are less frequent...but the urge is strong at the moment but I'll remain resistent...keep myself very very busy before I have to go to bed.

Muah!

Posted by Kat at May 9, 2006 07:22 PM

Comments

Posted by: Kitty at May 10, 2006 04:10 PM

Hey hun, I am sorry that you are feeling that way. I really hate it when I get stranded like that there is no way for me to get home and such. I hope you are ok hun.

Love ya

Posted by: Kari at May 15, 2006 02:39 AM

Don't hun, it is not worth it.
My parents have forgotten me. It happened. Maybe they were stressed or something came in between. It doesn't say they care less for you, trust me it doesn't...

Try not letting this affect you all that much, because I know it can. It makes you feel stranded and abandoned and upset, but it is something that we should see as human mistakes by others. I mean, most of the time, at least when you are they way you are, people won't be as good to you as you are to them, and at some point our idealism hurts. Okay, this was family, so it hurt more, but at least those are the people you can be sure of that they didn't do it in order to hurt you.

I just hope you will stay strong and not lose your smile, also while I am gone. I can't text you much because it is more exp. from there and I am kind of broke, but you will still hear from me and if you need me, please, let me know.

And about your crush...try being patient. All the sings didn't sound bad to me.

I love you and will miss you,
Kari.

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