September 2, 2006 || Wet Dreams

I love Kitty. I swear here I was completely neglecting this place but then Kitty reminded me how talented she is.

Brian and Justin is LOVE!

Just a quick post.
+ Shout out to my fellow C.U.N.T.S (Gem, Julie and Kitty) - how we've progressed over the years huh? We get dirtier and dirtier...
+ Shout out to my fellow FB chickas - Loving you all...
+ Shout out to my Suspenderz...Father's Day tomorrow...we must get Ivy's dad a card and buy him a present...Yardz you know you want to...;)

Love love love the new layout.

Thankyou once again Kitty my QUEEN!

 

June 5, 2006 || Fag Hag

Ok I admit. I am completely smitten with Brian and Justin from Queer as Folk. I mean I always have been...and I don't know why I'm going back to my gay roots but here it is. I'm obsessed...maybe more so now that I've discovered a community where I can obsess over them and I am not shunned.

I swear if I was a guy - I would totally be gay. I kinda wish I was now...

Oh well - deal with the hand God has dealt me.

Anyways on a more serious note.

Its not hard for me to fall in love. Do I think I'm in love?
No.
But I have a feeling I'm getting there.
Is it one sided? Most probably...but...I don't know.

I have fantastic friends who push and prod - but most of the time I want them to leave me alone.

Why?
I'm OK with wallowing in self pity. It's my 'thing'. I'm not used to bringing people into my world. Especially if they know me sooo well - it's scary.

Yardley and Carla especially. Those two girls know me back to front, in and out. I mean I knew Yardley did - but Carla actually surprised me. I mean we've been best friends since we were 7 years old. But we've hardly had heart to heart talks (we have our moments - but when it's our own problems we both go to Ricalin I think)...so it really shocked me when I said I had a crush and in the next instant she knew who it was. It got me all warm and fuzzy to have someone like her around. I mean we're definitely not the mushy best friends (unlike Yardley and I who would have been lovers in a queer as folk world) - we're too straight for our own good. But Carla is the friend who will tell me how it is without giving me bullcrap.

Well I don't make sense and I don't really want to get into it. Which I think I already did...

Oh well...

I lvoe Steven. Hahahaha...to end on the note that I started with.

 

May 9, 2006 || Abandoned

Well my mum has finally followed in the footsteps of my dad and brother...she has abandoned me.
Ok well not really but for some reason my whole family has forgotten to pick me up and have left me stranded in the worst places...

The first one was my dad way back in 2000. I came back from a Study Day and he left me stranded at the station, with no money in my pocket at 9pm at night...I couldn't call him because he forgot to hang up the phone so all I got was a busy signal...

The next one was my brother. He left me at Uni at 9pm at night. I had to walk home with no money in my pocket, and buses had stopped running already and there were drunks around...well that led to the high point of my depression and Kari (as would a few others) knew where THAT pincale moment led to. I was hoping that wouldn't happen again...

But today...waiting outside of my school with really scary gang-ish guys walking around - I felt that sense of being stranded and abandoned again and it just took me to a place that I really didn't want to go to...but I couldn't help myself.

I haven't done ANYTHING and I won't...but that feeling is so strong to go back to my old ways...I have to admit I haven't kicked the habit completely just yet but I am more self satisfied so the urges are less frequent...but the urge is strong at the moment but I'll remain resistent...keep myself very very busy before I have to go to bed.

Muah!

 

April 30, 2006 || Burning Mysteries

My fic is DONE.
ATM its hidden in a secretive place (I can just hear Gem, Kitty and Jules scoffing 'HA!'). I'm afraid to unleash it to public eyes until I have them read it because their opinion means so much to me. Jules, and esp. Gem, are both fantastic writers and it's hard to match them so I didn't even try. I simply opted to write about two things I know how to do - Drama and smut. I have to admit - I was pretty turned on. And as for Kitty...well...Art is her forte (we'll see if I can convince her to do a smutty one for BM). Muahahaha.
A few of my FB.com friends have also had the pleasure of reading a bit of it - but they have yet to read the extent of it. We'll see if I'm game.

I should also praise Skype. It rocks. I recently participated in a conference call with 3 of my favourite girls in the world (the 3 mentioned above) and it rocked to high heaven. The best part about it (apart it from being clear as) is that it's FREE!!!! And I'm a total cheap-o these days.

Also Jenna's been gone in Phils for a week. I don't give a dang about her but I do miss Charm (her little sister) something awful. I was stuck with Joy (Charm's friend) today. It was fun nevertheless but I still missed Charm. She wouldn't smack me and call me fat...hmmm maybe Charm would.

I have a crush! I hate it.
Crushes suck. For me it never means ANYTHING. But I do have one.
I could shoot myself for being so stupid with this one though.
Actually Jenna might disagree - Yards would most probably laugh at my face.

*sigh*

Tough Love.

 

April 19, 2006 || Suspenders

Ok my girls - that's Jenna, Yards, Hermy, Maridee, Ivy and myself - have found a name for a little gorup. We're now the Suspenders - named after our memorable night out at Pizza Hut and our Anniversary date.

Yes we're a bunch of lame girls but all we have is each other and that means ALOT to all of us. The crap that we've been through together in a year is - phenomenal. I have NEVER ever been so open to girls before (well Yards doesn't count she's half man anyway). I've told these girls things that I have never told anyone else (well except Kari - I tell her everything but she's not physically here to console me). And I'm sooo glad I have them.

But enough of my obsession with the Suspenders.

I am back into the swing of posting in my favourite hangouts on the net. I love it.
And I've also just applied to be a teacher in New South Wales - getting ready for my interview with the Department of Education in July. Nervous much?
Oh well...I'll just pray that I'll kill it.

Thanks to Julie and Gem for their words of wisdom.

 

April 10, 2006 || Holidays

Whoopee!

The Holiday's are here. And I badly need it to recuperate before my full 3 weeks of extensive teaching. I'm doing great in my prac atm but I can be better.

On top of that my personal life is just shattering in pieces. All this stuff is happening to everyone I love around me. First was my friend being badly hurt, now someone close to my friends has just passed away and all these emotions are up in the air - and I hope I can be strong enough to be a rock.

*sigh*

Normality now seems like a pipe dream...

 

April 2, 2006 || F*CK MEN!

This world SUCKS.
Everyone in it is a vile piece of excrement especially men.
Ok so not everyone but there's alot of bastards out there.
I swear I will KILL the next man that hurts me.